Lesbian Exclusive Exchange

Top 10 Tips

It's getting harder and harder to spot our kind these days epecially with all the heteros hearding into lesbo bars. These tips will help you peg a lesbian while you're out & about so as not to make a lil ol' fool of yourself.

she is out with female friends and she actually gets along with them. little to no cattiness going on.
she makes direct eye contact with you and smiles
she is wearing super stylish low rise jeans and a tight tee that hugs her in just the right places
she appears more interested in women than in men and/or avoids men all together

she has a fabulously trendy hair cut
she knows who she is and asserts herself appropriately
sha has hot tattooes and they mean a great deal to her
she is always sporting meticulously short nails

she prefers a smooth low cal beer to those calorie laden fruity drinks

*bonus tip: the more time you spend around lesbians the easier it will become to pick up on cues

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It's true, break ups are hard to do. But let's face it, lesbians are particularly bad at it. Here is some advice for helping those of you who just can't let a bad relationship go.

 I want us to be friends. This sounds nice in theory, but in reality an ex does not make a true friend, especially immediately after the split. If you will be friends in the future you must take some time apart to get your shit in order and to heal.

 I need closure. Closure can be difficult, even impossible to get no matter how many times you beat that dead horse. Fact is, some people are unable to give closure, so you may just want to find it within yourself. Indeed, the best closure may come from resisting the urge to dialogue & simply move on.

 I  need to make sense of it all, and/or I  have one more thing to say. This is a bullshit rationalization. Another excuse to stay in contact when in reality this just gives your ex another opportunity to vomit on you. Not fun.

 I want to reconcile. It's reasonable to feel like you want to get back together.  Even if you do end up reconciling, the relationship must be different to suceed; afterall the last one failed.  It is still important to take some time apart in order to mourn the relationship & contemplate how you really feel.

 I want to hold onto her stuff. Don't hold her shit for ransom (or sniff it) in order to see her again. Give back what belongs to her, nothing more & nothing less. Do it quickly, in the first couple of days. Get your stuff back simultaneously. If you inadvertently find something of hers later, mail it to her.

 I want to sex her again. Your ex is familiar because you know her intimately. But again, this is just prolonging the inevitable and will keep you stuck in the past. Time to cut off the ex & find someone new (or maybe just yourself) to finger.

 We have the same friends. If this is the case, you may not be able to help bumping into your ex, but that does not mean you need to get in touch afterward. Keep your conversations polite, brief & away from anything that can bring up shit from the past. You'll also see who your friends are, and which belong to her.

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One of the worst  things about lesbian dating is that no one wants to be the initiator. Women typically flirt but they wait to be approached. If you want a date you have to learn to be comfortable making a move.

You can tell by certain signs if she's single & interested. If she's out alone or if she's at a table which seems to include just friends, it's a good indication.
Go ahead & approach by asking a simple question. Act interested but don't overdo it. If she leans in when you talk to her, pays attention to you or asks you to join them, proceed respectfully and with confidence then see where it goes.Try complimenting her about whatever drew you to her. Make sure to smile & to look into her eyes. And please ask about her and listen to  what she has to say. If it is going well, ask her to dance or buy her a drink.

Don't be afraid of rejection. You can't get a date unless you accept rejection and you want a date right?. If your self-esteem is intact, you can handle rejection. Believe in yourself and remind yourself  that you are attractive & worthwhile.  You don't desire everyone and not everyone will desire you.

Some of the best ways to meet other lesbians is through our friends. If you are single and looking, let it be known. Go to parties or throw a party. Get out and about and get involved. Turn your flirt on and smile a lot .Expand your social circle by joining a group that interests you. You'll meet new people  and  have access to all the people your new friends know.  You may find that you like one of them. Check out queer film fests, spoken words, art openings, yoga, the gym, dance clubs, bars, the library, Pride festivals, activist groups, or other lesbian events. But be weary of  giant drunken lesbian events wherein lesbians are not necessarily putting their best foot forward. You may get mixed up in something that you want no part of.

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